Episode 3 Robot of Sherwood

The Doctor: Old-fashioned heroes only exist in old-fashioned storybooks, Clara.
Clara: What about you?
The Doctor: Me?
Clara: Yeah, you. You stop bad things happening every minute of every day. That sounds pretty heroic to me.
The Doctor: Just passing the time.

Robin Hood: Well, don't you know all property is theft to Robin Hood?
The Doctor: You're not serious.
Robin Hood: I am many things but never that. Robin Hood laughs in the face of all. (laughs merrily and loudly)
The Doctor: And do people ever punch you in the face when you do that?
Robin Hood: Not as yet.
The Doctor: Lucky I'm here then, isn't it?

The Doctor: That is not Robin Hood.
Robin: Well, then, who, sir, is about to relieve you of your magic box?
The Doctor: Nobody, sir. Not in this universe or the next.
Robin: Well, then, draw your sword and prove your words.
The Doctor: I have no sword. I don't need a sword. Because I am the Doctor. This is my spoon. En garde!

Friar Tuck: Whoa! What are you doing?
The Doctor: This isn't a real sandal.
Friar Tuck: Yes it is.
The Doctor: (sniffs) Oh, yes it is.

Clara: How can you be so sure he's not the real thing?
The Doctor: Because he can't be.
Clara: When did you stop believing in everything?
The Doctor: When did you start believing in impossible heroes?
Clara: Don't you know?

Clara: What are you up to?
The Doctor: Quickest way to find out anybody's plan. Get yourself captured,.

Robin: Splendid. In chains.
Clara: Yep.
Robin: Trussed up like oxen. Thanks to your friend.
The Doctor: Shut it, hoodie. I saved your life.
Robin: I had the situation well in hand.
The Doctor: Long-haired ninny versus robot killer knights. I know where I'd put my money.
Robin: If you had not betrayed me, I would have been triumphant.
The Doctor: You would have been a little puff of smoke and ashes.
Robin: Ha!
The Doctor: You would have been floating around in tiny little laughing bits, in people's goblets.

The Doctor: Guards! He's laughing again. You can't keep me locked up with a laughing person.
Robin: I find that quite funny. Do you know, I feel another laugh coming on. A-ha-ha-ha!
The Doctor: Guards, I cannot remain in this cell! Execute me now!

Robin: I'll tell you one thing. I'd last a lot longer than this dessicated man-crow.
The Doctor: Really?
Robin: Really.
The Doctor: Well, you know what? I think you'll find I have a certain genetic advantage.
Clara: It is not a competition about who can die slower.
The Doctor: But it definitely would be me, though, wouldn't it?

Clara: Your plan.
Robin Hood: I am... biding my time.
Clara: Thank you, Prince of Thieves. Last of the Time Lords?
The Doctor: Yes, I have a plan.
Clara: Can you explain your plan without using the word "sonic screwdriver"? Because you might have forgotten the Sheriff of Nottingham has taken your screwdriver. Just saying. It's always the screwdriver.

Robin: Now what?
The Doctor: First the blacksmith's forge.
Robin: So as to remove our chains?
The Doctor: No. So I can knock up an ornamental plant stand. Of course it's so we can get rid of our chains! I don't want to be manacled to you all night. (Robin laughs) Oh, please, please don't do that.
Robin: "Ornamental plant stand."
The Doctor: It's not even that funny.
Robin: You're an amusing jokester.

Sheriff of Nottingham: You are indeed an ingenious fellow, Doctor. But do you really think your peasant's revolt can stop me?
The Doctor: I rather think you're the revolting one around here.

The Doctor: He's a legend!
Robin: Too kind. And this legend has not come alone.
Clara: Hi-ya!

Robin: So, is it true?
The Doctor: Is what true?
Robin: That in the future I'm forgotten as a real man, only as a legend.
The Doctor: I'm afraid it is.
Robin: Good. History is a burden. Stories can make us fly.
The Doctor: I'm still having a little trouble believing yours.
Robin: Why? Is it difficult to credit that a man born into wealth and privilege should find the plight of the oppressed and weak too much to bear?
The Doctor: No...
Robin: Until one night he is moved to steal a TARDIS and fly among the stars fighting the good fight.