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 Season 2 Episode 7 The Idiot's Lantern

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PostSubject: Season 2 Episode 7 The Idiot's Lantern   Fri Jul 31, 2015 8:35 pm


  • The Doctor: (after recording the Wire) I think I just invented the home video, thirty years early. Betamax.
  • Policeman: Wait, where do you think you're...
    (the Doctor flashes the psychic paper at him)
    Policeman: Oh, very sorry, sir. Shouldn't you be at the coronation?
    The Doctor: They're saving me a seat.
    Tommy: Who did he think you were?
    The Doctor: The King of Belgium, apparently.
  • Detective Inspector Bishop: Start from the beginning, tell me everything you know.
    The Doctor: Well, for starters, I know you can't wrap your hand around your elbows and make your fingers meet.
  • Rose: That thing, is it trapped for good on the video?
    The Doctor: I'd say. Just to be on the safe side, though, I'll use my unrivaled knowledge of transtemporalextopation methods to neutralise the residual electronic pattern.
    Rose: You what?
    The Doctor: I'm gonna tape over it.
    Rose: Just leave it to me. I'm always doing that.
  • (The Wire tries to electrocute the Doctor)
    The Doctor: Rubber soles! Swear by 'em!
  • Tommy: We don't even know where to start looking! It's too late.
    The Doctor: "It's never too late", as a wise person once said... Kylie, I think...
  • The Wire: Now, are you sitting comfortably? Good, then we'll begin.
  • Eddie: I am TALKING!
    The Doctor: (The Doctor stands up and matches him) And I'm NOT LISTENING!
  • Mr. Magpie: You promised me peace!
    The Wire: And peace you shall have.
    (a massive electrical bolt comes from the transmitter, vaporising Magpie)
  • Mr. Magpie: I finished it. As you instructed.
    (He places the box on top of a TV set; The Wire appears on the screen)
    The Wire: That's awfully good of you, Mr. Magpie.
    Mr. Magpie: Say you'll go soon. Leave me.
    The Wire: We'll see. If you're a very good boy.
    Mr. Magpie: Please. You're burning me. Inside. Behind my eyes. It hurts. Even my memories hurt. I just want things back like they used to be.
    The Wire: But this world of yours is busy, busy, busy. Forging ahead into a brand new age. You can never go back. That's your tragedy. But now… the time is almost ripe, Magpie. Cometh the hour, cometh the man. (laughs) Or lady.
  • Eddie: (to Tommy) Listen, you little twerp. You're hardly out of the bloomin' cradle so I don't expect you to understand. But I've got a position to maintain. People round here respect me. It matters what people think!
    Tommy: Is that why you did it, Dad?
    Eddie: What do you mean? Did what?
    Tommy: You ratted on Gran. How else would the police know where to look? Unless some coward told them.
    Eddie: How dare you! You think I fought a war just so a mouthy little scum like you could call me a coward?
    Tommy: You don't get it, do you? You fought against fascism, remember? People telling you how to live. Who you could be friends with. Who you could fall in love with. Who could live and who had to die. Don't you get it? You were fighting so that little twerps like me could do what we want, say what we want. Now you've become just like them. You've been informing on everyone, haven't you? Even Gran. All to protect your precious reputation.
  • Eddie: (about Tommy) Proper little mummy's boy all round.
    Aunty Betty: Ooh, you know what they say about them. Eddie, you want to beat that out of him.
    Eddie: That's exactly what I'm going to do.
  • (At Magpie's shop, Rose discovers The Wire)
    Rose: What are you?
    The Wire: I'm the Wire and I'm… hungry!
    (Electrical tentacles come from the screen and starts to remove Rose's face)
    Rose: Magpie, help me!
    Mr. Magpie: Just think of that audience tomorrow, my dear. All settling down to watch the Coronation. Twenty million people. Things will never be the same again. I'm sorry. So sorry.
    Rose: Help me!
    The Wire: Goodnight children, everywhere.
  • The Doctor: I'm not convinced you're doing your patriotic duty. Those flags. Why are they not flying?
    Eddie: There we are, Rita. I told you. Get them up. Queen and Country.
    Rita: I'm sorry-
    Eddie: Get it done. Do it now.
    The Doctor: Hold on a minute.
    Eddie: Like the gentleman said.
    The Doctor: Hold on a minute. You've got hands, Mr. Connolly. Two big hands. Why is it your wife's job?
    Eddie: It's housework, innit?
    The Doctor: And that's a woman's job?
    Eddie: Of course it is.
    The Doctor: Mr. Connolly, what gender is the Queen?
    Eddie: She's a female.
    The Doctor: Are you suggesting the Queen does the housework?
    Eddie: No. Not at all.
    The Doctor: Then get busy. (hands him the flags)
  • The Doctor: Men in black? Vanishing police cars? This is Churchill's England, not Stalin's Russia!
  • The Doctor: The thing is, Detective Inspector Bishop...
    Detective Inspector Bishop: How do you know my name?
    The Doctor: It's written inside your collar.
  • Rose: And as for you, Mr Connolly, only an idiot hangs the Union flag upside down. Shame on you!
  • (Bishop is talking to another detective, and the Doctor interupts)
    The Doctor: They did what?
    Detective Inspector Bishop: I'm sorry?
    The Doctor: They left her where?
    Detective Inspector Bishop: Just, in the street.
    The Doctor: In the street. They left her in the street. They took her face and just chucked her out and left her in the street. And as a result, that makes things simple. Very, very simple. You know why?
    Detective Inspector Bishop: No.
    The Doctor: Because now, Detective Inspector Bishop, there is no power on this Earth that can stop me. Come on.
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Season 2 Episode 7 The Idiot's Lantern
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