Episode 1 The Eleventh Hour

Prisoner Zero: The universe is cracked. The Pandorica will open. Silence will fall.

The Doctor: Look at that.
Amelia: Are you okay?
The Doctor: Just had a fall. All the way down there, right to the library. Hell of a climb back up.
Amelia: You're soaking wet.
The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool.
Amelia: You said you were in the library.
The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.

The Doctor: Ah, you see. Beans. (eats them) Beans are evil. Bad, bad beans.

The Doctor: I'll be right back.
Amelia: People always say that.
The Doctor: Am I people? Do I even look like people? Trust me. I'm the Doctor.

Amy: Will that door hold it?
The Doctor: Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course. It's an interdimensional multi-form from outer space. They're all terrified of wood.

Amy: You came back.
The Doctor: Of course I came back. I always come back. There's nothing wrong with that.
Amy: But you kept the clothes.
The Doctor: Well, I just saved the world. The whole planet, for about the millionth time. No charge. Yeah, shoot me. I kept the clothes.
Amy: Including the bow tie.
The Doctor: Yeah, it's cool. Bow ties are cool.

The Doctor: Listen to me. In 10 minutes, you're going to be a legend. In 10 minutes, everyone on that screen is going to be offering you any job you want. But first, you have to be magnificent. You have to make them trust you and get them working. This is it, Jeff. This is when you fly. Today's the day you save the world.
Jeff: ...Why me?
The Doctor: It's your bedroom.

The Doctor: Do you know what this phone is full of? Pictures of you. Every form you've learned to take, right here. Oh, and being uploaded about... now. And the final score is: No TARDIS, No screwdriver, two minutes to spare... WHO DA MAN?! (silence) I'm never saying that again. Fine.

Amelia: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.

The Doctor: What's your name?
Amelia: Amelia Pond.
The Doctor: Oh, that's a brilliant name. Amelia Pond. Like a name in a fairy tale. Are we in Scotland, Amelia?
Amelia: No. I had to move to England. It's rubbish.

The Doctor: You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?
Amelia: Yes.
(pause)
The Doctor: Everything's going to be fine.

The Doctor: Amy Pond. The girl who waited. You waited long enough.
Amy: When I was a kid, you said there was a swimming pool. And a library, and the swimming pool was in the library.
The Doctor: Yeah, not sure where it's got to now. It'll turn up. So, coming?
Amy: No.
The Doctor: You wanted to come 14 years ago.
Amy: I grew up.
The Doctor: Don't worry. I'll soon fix that.

The Doctor: I'm not 6 months late, I'm 12 years late!
Amy: He's coming!
The Doctor: You said 6 months. Why did you say 6 months?!
Amy: We've got to go!
The Doctor: This matters! This is important. Why did you say 6 months?
Amy: WELL WHY DID YOU SAY 5 MINUTES?!
The Doctor: What?
Amy: Come on!
The Doctor: What?
Amy: Come on!
The Doctor: What?!

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. Do everything I tell you. Don't ask stupid questions. And don't wander off.

The Doctor: You're Amelia!
Amy: You're late.
The Doctor: ...Amelia Pond, you're the little girl!
Amy: I'm Amelia, and you're late.
The Doctor: What happened?
Amy: Twelve years.
The Doctor: You hit me with a cricket bat.
Amy: Twelve years!
The Doctor: A cricket bat!
Amy: Twelve years and four psychiatrists.
The Doctor: Four?
Amy: I kept biting them.
The Doctor: Why?
Amy: They said you weren't real.

The Doctor: And what sort of job's a kiss-o-gram?
Amy: I go to parties and I kiss people. (clears throat) With outfits. It's a laugh!
The Doctor: You were a little girl five minutes ago.
Amy: You're worse than my aunt!
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I'm worse than everybody's aunt!

(The Doctor speaking to Amy)
The Doctor: Your friend! What was his name?
(The Doctor points to Rory)
The Doctor: Not him, the good looking one.
Rory: (sarcastically) Thanks.
Amy: Jeff.
Rory: (more sarcastically) OH thanks.

(The Doctor runs into a room in which Jeff is on a bed with a laptop)
The Doctor: Hello. Laptop. Gimme.
Jeff: No, no, no, no, no... Hang on!!!
The Doctor: Give it here.
(takes the laptop from Jeff, and notices the contents of the screen)
The Doctor: Blimey, get a girlfriend, Jeff...

The Doctor: So, you okay, then? 'Cause this place, sometimes it can make people feel a bit, you know.
Amy: I'm fine. Fine. It's just... there's a whole world in here, just like you said. It's all true. I thought, well, I was starting to think that maybe you were just, like, a madman with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and, one day, your life may depend on it: I am definitely a madman with a box.

(Prisoner Zero takes on the Doctor's form)
The Doctor: Well, that's a bit rubbish. Who's he supposed to be?
Rory: That's you.
The Doctor: It's me? That's what I look like?
Rory: You mean you don't know?
The Doctor: (shrugs) Busy day.

The Doctor: Why does no-one ever listen to me? Do I just have a face that nobody listens to... again?

Amy: Where are you going?
The Doctor: The roof. No, hang on.
Amy: What's in here?
The Doctor: I'm saving the world. I need a decent shirt. To hell with the raggedy. Time to put on a show.

The Doctor: The Doctor will see you now!
Alien Guard: You are not of this world.
The Doctor: No but I've put a lot work into it.
(...)
Alien Guard: Is this world important?
The Doctor: Important? What that's mean, important? Six billion people live here, is that important? Here's a better question: is this world a threat to the Atraxi? Oh come on, you're monitoring the whole planet! Is this world a threat?
Alien Guard: No.
The Doctor: Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime by the laws of the Atraxi?
Alien Guard: No.
The Doctor: Okay. One more, just one: is this world protected? 'Cause you're not the first one to attack it. Oh they've been so many. And what you've got to ask is, what happened to them?
(a montage of the past 10 Doctors is looked at by the Atraxi)
The Doctor: Hello! I'm the Doctor. Basically, run.

The Doctor: (regarding the new TARDIS interior) Look at you... Oh, you sexy thing! Look at you!