Gregson: (seeing a dinosaur) Madame Vastra, thank God. I'll wager you've not seen anything like this before.
Vastra: Well... not since I was a little girl.
Gregson: It's just laid an egg.
Vastra: It dropped a blue box marked "Police" out of its mouth. Your grasp of biology troubles me.
Jenny: So it's him, then, the Doctor?
Vastra: A giant dinosaur from the distant past has just vomited a blue box from outer space--this is not a day for jumping to conclusions.
The Doctor: Who invented this room?
Clara: Doctor, please, you have to lie down.
The Doctor: Doesn't make any sense, look, it's only got a bed there. Why is there only a bed in it?
Clara: Because it's a bedroom. It's for sleeping.
The Doctor: Okay, what do you do when you're awake?
Jenny: You leave the room.
The Doctor: So you've got a whole room for not being awake in. But what's the point, you're just missing the room? And don't look in that mirror. It's absolutely furious.
Vastra: I'm having difficulty sleeping.
The Doctor: Oh? Oh, well, I--I wouldn't bother with that. I never bother with sleeping, I just do standy-up catnaps.
Vastra: Oh, really? How interesting. And--and when do you do those?
The Doctor: Well, generally whenever anyone starts talking. I like to skip ahead to my bit, it saves time.
Vastra: I love monkeys, they're so funny.
Jenny: Oh, I see. So people are monkeys now, are they?
Vastra: No, dear. People are apes. Men are monkeys.
The Doctor: I am alone. The world which shook at my feet, and the trees, and the sky, have gone, and I am alone now. Alone.
Clara: Are you translating?
The Doctor: The wind bites now, and the world is grey, and I am alone here. Can't see me. Doesn't see me. Can't see me.
Clara: Who can't see it? I think all of London can see it.
Strax: May I take your coat?
Clara: Not wearing a coat.
Strax: What's all that?
Strax: May I take your clothes?
Clara: Probably not.
Strax: Are you wearing a hat?
Clara: It's hair!
Strax: Oh, I think it's a hat, would you like me to check?
Vastra: Jenny and I are married, yet for appearance's sake, we maintain a pretense, in public, that she is my maid.
Jenny: Doesn't exactly explain why I'm pouring tea in private.
Vastra: Hush now.
Jenny: Good pretense, isn't it?
Clara: The Doctor. What's he doing here?
Vastra: There is trouble. Where else would he be?
Vas: But he is the Doctor. He has walked this universe for centuries untold. He has seen stars fall to dust. You might as well flirt with a mountain range.
The Doctor: No, no, shut up! What do you all have for brains--pudding? Look at you. Why can't I meet a decent species? Planet of the pudding-brains!
Clara: You got the TARDIS, then?
Strax: Military tactics. The Doctor is still missing, but he will always come looking for his box. By bringing it here, he will be lured from the dangers of London to this place of safety, and we will melt him with acid.
Clara: Okay, that last part?
Strax: And we will not melt him with acid. Old habits.
Jenny: Meanwhile, Madam Vastra is slightly occupied by the Conk-Singleton forgery case, and is having the Camberwell child-poisoner for dinner.
Clara: For dinner?
Jenny: After she's finished interrogating him. Probably best to stay out the larder. It'll get a bit noisy in there later.
Strax: Say "ah."
Strax: You didn't move your lips.
Clara: You're looking at my eye.
Strax: Oh. Oh yes, there we are. Easy mistake.
The Doctor: Look at the eyebrows! These are attack eyebrows. You could take bottle tops off with these!
Barney: They are mighty eyebrows indeed, sir.
The Doctor: They're cross. They're crosser than the rest of my face. They're independently cross. They probably want to cede from the rest of my face and take up their own independent state of eyebrows.
Vastra: Spontaneous combustion.
Jenny: Is that like love at first sight?
Vastra: A little. It is a theory that human beings can with little or no inducement simply explode.
Jenny: You don't need to flirt with me, we're already married.
Vastra: It's scientific nonsense, of course.
Clara: "Egomaniac, needy, game-player"?
The Doctor: This could be a trap.
Clara: That was me?
The Doctor: Never mind that.
Clara: Yes, I am minding that!
The Doctor: Clara.
Clara: You were talking about me?
The Doctor: Clara, what is happening right now in this restaurant to you and me is more important than your egomania.
Clara: Nothing is more important than my egomania!
The Doctor: Right, you actually said that.
Clara: You never mention that again!
The Doctor: Uhh, no sausages. And there's no pictures. Do you have a children's menu? Any specials?
The Doctor: I don't mind liver.
Waiter: Spleen. Brain stem. Eyes.
Clara: Umm, is there a lot of demand for those?
The Doctor: I don't think that's what on the menu. I think we are on the menu.
The Doctor: Hello, hello, rubbish robots from the dawn of time, thank you for all the gratuitous information.
The Doctor: I hate being wrong in public. Everybody forget that happened.
The Doctor: And you're out of your depth, sir. Never try to control a control freak.
Clara: I am not a control freak!
The Doctor: Yes, ma'am.
The Doctor: This is your power source, feeble though it is. I can use it to blow this whole room if I see one thing that I don't like. And that includes karaoke and mime, so take no chances.
The Doctor: So tell me, what do you think of the view?
Half-Face Man: It is beautiful.
The Doctor: No, it isn't. It's just far away. Everything looks too small. I prefer it down there. Everything is huge. Everything is so important. Every detail, every moment, every life clung to.
Half-Face Man: I am not dead.
The Doctor: You are a broom. Question--you take a broom, you replace the handle, and then later you replace the brush and you do that over and over again. Is it still the same broom? Answer--no, of course it isn't. But you can still sweep the floor. Which is not strictly relevant, skip that last part.
The Doctor: This... is over. Are you capable of admitting that?
Half-Face Man: Do you have it in you to murder me?
The Doctor: Those people down there, they're never small to me. Don't make assumptions about how far I will go to protect them, because I've already come a very long way. And unlike you, I don't expect to reach the promised land.
Clara: I don't think I know who the Doctor is anymore.
Vastra: It would seem, my dear, you're very wrong about that. Clara... give him hell. He'll always need it.
Clara: You've redecorated.
The Doctor: Yes.
Clara: I don't like it.
The Doctor: I'm not entirely convinced myself. I think there should be more round things on the walls. I used to have a lot of round things, I wonder where I put them.
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I've lived for over two thousand years, and not all of them were good. I've made many mistakes, and it's about time that I did something about that.
The Doctor: You can't see me, can you? You--you look at me, you can't see me. Do you have any idea what that's like? I'm not on the phone, I'm right here. Standing in front of you. Please, just... just see me.
The Doctor: I--I don't think that I'm a hugging person now.
Clara: I'm not sure you get a vote.
The Doctor: Whatever you say.