The Doctor: Oh, you've redecorated. I don't like it.
Craig: It's a different house. We moved.
The Doctor: Yes, that's it.
Craig: Doctor, what are you doing here?
The Doctor: Social call. Thought about time I'd try one out.
Craig: I can't cope on my own with him. I can't... he just cries all the time. I mean, do they have off switches?
The Doctor: Human beings. No, I've checked.
Craig: No, babies.
The Doctor: Same difference.
The Doctor: So what did you call him? Will I blush?
Craig: No, we didn't call him "The Doctor."
The Doctor: No, I didn't think you would.
Craig: He's called Alfie. What are you doing here, anyway?
The Doctor: Yes, he doesn't like Alfie. Personally he prefers to be called "Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All."
Craig: Sorry, what?
The Doctor: That's what he calls himself.
Craig: And how'd you know that?
The Doctor: I speak Baby.
Craig: Of course you do.
The Doctor: Craig!
Craig: What the hell are you doing here?
The Doctor: Oh, I'm the Doctor, I work in a shop now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on, in case I forget who I am. Very thoughtful, as that does happen.
The Doctor: You look awful.
Craig: (about his baby) I haven't slept, have I? I still can't stop him crying. I even tried singing to him last night.
The Doctor: Yeah, he did mention that... he thought you were crying, too.
The Doctor: Craig, take Alfie and go home.
The Doctor: No?
Craig: No. I remember from last time, people got killed. People that didn't know you. I know where it's safest for me and Alfie, and that's right next to you.
The Doctor: Is that so?
Craig: Yeah, you always win, you always survive.
The Doctor: Those were the days.
Craig: Where am I investigating?
The Doctor: Well, look around. Ask questions. People like it when you're with a baby. Babies are sweet. People talk to you. That's why I usually take a human with me.
Craig: So I'm your baby?
The Doctor: You're my baby.
Craig: Doctor, listen to me. If the Cybermen are here, then we're not safe. We've got to go. We got to go back to base.
The Doctor: We've got a base? When did we get a base?
Craig: I'm going down to the shop. We're out of milk. You know what to do if he cries.
The Doctor: No!
Craig: Me neither!
The Doctor: (to baby Alfie) Your dad's trying his best, you know. Yes, I know it's not his fault he doesn't have mammary glands. No, neither do I.
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I was here to help, and you are very, very welcome.
Craig: The Cybermen. They blew up. I blew 'em up with love!
The Doctor: No, that's impossible. And also grossly sentimental and over-simplistic. You destroyed them because of the deeply-ingrained hereditary human trait to protect one's own genes, which in turn triggered a... uh... uh... yeah. Love.